I'm sick of Lindsay Lohan, like just about EVERY mentally functional person in this world. The news of her CONSTANT downfalls makes me a sad gay. Lindsay was spotted with a cocaine mustache? Oh, Lindsay is strung out on carpet cleaner this week? Or.. maybe Lindsay had a bit too much of the crack rock, and passed out outside a club, exposing her mutated fire crotch? WHO CARES. .. well, obviously I do, considering I'm blogging about it.
Lindsay has been on this downward spiral filled with drugs, shitty movies, rehab, fights, more rehab and lesbian scissoring for quite some time. It seems like after every fuck up she says (and by she I mean her PR people), "I'm optimistic about the future!" or some variation of that.
Fine, fine.. smoke your crack rock, gurgle down all that carpet cleaner you can find, but guuuuuurl, I swear, if you use ONE more Gandhi quote.. UGH! Quoting Mahatma Gandhi won't ever make you seem intelligent.. people will just think you're a douche.
Calm yourself, Dmitri, calm yourself.
And I will end this blog post with the following: ALLEGEDLY.
But, in all honesty, I really hope she hasn't considered getting fucked up on carpet cleaner. Try some Pledge first and work your way up.
Allegedly,
DLP
lol carpet cleaner
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