You know what really Grindrs my gears?

If you're a fag (or, you know, "curious") and have an iPhone or a similar device (like yours truly) I'm sure as shit you know all about the application called Grindr. iPhones and phones like it can do anything these days, and helping you hook up is no exception. Gay men have been hooking up forever, though, so how is this ANY different? Because unlike "back in the day" you don't need to know certain gestures or the gay handkerchief code -- all you need is your phone.

When I became an iDouche I just 'had' to check out Grindr. I had heard so much about it from my friends and I wanted to see what it was all about. Also, social networking (even Grindr) is an AMAZING promotional tool. It gave me a chance to get some exposure from the locals and to whore out not myself, but my show.

I have friends who use Grindr. Some use it for sex, some use it for friends, and some use it for networking like myself. As long as you're safe and know what you're doing, then sister, go to town. Seriously. I can't judge. Do your thing, but know the risks.

Grindr, if you're not familiar, allows you to have your mobile device track where you're at. It will show the men who are closest to you.. and just how close they are. It could be miles, it could be feet. Now, this option can be disabled of course, but from my experiences on Grindr, most of the time people have it enabled. This feature HAS lead to sexual violence and it will again. It is INEVITABLE, just like sexual violence is inevitable from any other form of "hooking up." The thing about Grindr, though, is that it makes it easier for predators.

Everyone is so worried about gay teen suicide invoked by bullying. What about gay teen MURDER? Grindr is an application for adults (that's 18+ for all of you registered sex offenders) and of course that's how it should be. But, just like chatrooms and social networking sites.. the young gays always find a way to slip right in. And it isn't that difficult. I'm bringing this up because while on Grindr recently, a 16-year-old sent me a message. Now, whether or not this boy was real is up for debate, but it still REALLY concerned me.

Grindr states that they are strict about being a resource ONLY for adults (again, that's 18+ ;p) .. but this kid has ON HIS PROFILE and ON HIS HEADLINE that he's 16. Where's the moderation? What the hell is going on? Now, I know I'm an iNoob, but I'm still in shock. I had a talk with this kid.. I had to. I felt like if I didn't I would lose sleep over it. I'm not going to provide screen names and I've cleaned up some spelling errors and whatnot, but here it is:

Kid: Hey
Parker: 16? I don't wanna lecture but.. you should delete this app. This isn't what gay life is about, really. and there are some really scary guys on here Parker: Even if you don't take my advice, at least be careful.. please
Kid: I will :) I know what's out there and I know what signs to look out for. Thanks :)
Parker: That's what I thought too when I was around your age.. you'd best be careful

You know what's out there? YOU'RE 16 YEARS OLD! How could you possibly KNOW what's out there? I mean, fuck, when I was 16 I won't lie.. I did my fair share of partying, but most of that involved stealing a bottle of cheap tequila from my parents and sipping on it with a few friends outside. Oh, and you know what "signs" to look out for? You're 16, you're not that intuitive.. and plus, even if you were, how the hell can you just "tell" .. it's online! No.. not even.. it's on the phone!

When I was 16 I didn't even have a cell phone. So much has changed since then. But you know, I wonder.. if things were different, and I was 16 at this point in time with an iPhone and the Grindr application.. what would I be doing? I remember being curious at that age, but it wasn't EASY. It wasn't CONVENIENT. Now it is. You can literally hook up with a few swipes of your finger. Even if you're a minor. And trust me, there are always sick perverts who are MORE than willing to take the risk.

Listen, I know what some of you are thinking. Yes, the internet has been around for a long time and yes, it's quite easy to hook up from it.. all I'm saying is that now with applications like Grindr, it's EASIER and a minor won't HAVE to load up their PC or laptop to lurk around in the usually heavy moderated adult personals sites.. they can just slide into a private area, take out their mobile device and BAM. There's their location. There's their picture. Their personal information. There's everything he needs in order to turn his first, and maybe LAST trick.

Want to be raped, beaten senseless and tossed into a dumpster at age 16? There's an app for that.

DLP

Kesha is herpes.

AND NO, I REFUSE TO USE THE DOLLAR SIGN. DEAL WITH IT.

Alright! New blog time! Let's talk about Kesha. Now, I'm gay, so her kind of music is like.. INFUSED into me. When I hear it I get this little twitch that I just can't control. But, after a while, that twitch turns from joyful faggotry to UNADULTERATED RAGE. Her songs (even though halfway decent for clubbing) get WAY too repetitive way too quickly.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But, all pop songs get catchy real, real fast!" -- WRONG. Even though you may get SICK of the song, you can still enjoy it later.. and get that same satisfaction you had the first time you heard it! You need to let the song sit like a fine wine.. and enjoy it later. Kesha, however, is like an $8 bottle of vodka (that'll probably be the title of her next single!) that you find at those REALLY sketchy liquor stores on "the other side" of town.

Do you have herpes yet? Well, if you do (and omg, I'm really sorry.. genuinely lol.. that must suck) I think you can relate to what I have to say next. Kesha is like a bad case of genital herpes. You can pray, you can throw a fit.. doesn't matter, you are STUCK with it. FOR LIFE.

Listen, I'm not saying I "hate" Kesha.. it's more like I despise her. I mean, I still listen to her music (you know, before the songs drive me bonkers). Why? Because it's INFECTIOUS! .. just like herpes.

DLP

Edge Radio TONIGHT!

Remember, all, I'll be on Edge Radio TONIGHT to talk about my new talk show! Edge Radio with Viz & Miss Annie starts at 8pm EST. Head on over to www.qnation.fm and click 'Listen Now' on the top toolbar, and then 'Launch Player' and select your preference. My interview will start at 7pm PST/10pm EST.

You can also log into the chatroom! Come see our webcams and chat with us.

DLP

Next week on Edge Radio.. ME!

Big, big, exciting news! Next Wednesday, the 19th, at 10pm EST I'll be a guest on Edge Radio with Viz & Miss Annie -- that's right, I've upgraded from my goofy call-ins to official guest status! We'll be discussing my talk show (three more weeks!) among other scandalous topics, I'm sure.


Being a part of the Q Nation family really is a blessing. It all started when I was a young gay visiting San Francisco. Evil Gene, an Edge Radio contributor and host of his own show (To Tell The Truth) introduced me to the station. Years later I started calling into Edge Radio and fell in love with Viz and Miss Annie, whom I later met in person thanks to Mike Reader (host of The Mikelive Experience).

Can't wait for the show! Hope you all can tune in. It's definitely going to be interesting. You can tune in by going to the Q Nation FM website -- click the tab at the top 'Listen Now' and then click 'Launch Player' and select your preference. In the meantime, check out the websites for Edge, Evil Gene, and Mikelive!

Edge Radio with Viz & Miss Annie
Evil Gene
The Mikelive Experience

DLP

Fuck you, Ophiuchus.

So, apparently there is a 13th zodiac now (which I've heard isn't "new" news, but.. it's new to me). The Earth's relation to the sun has changed since the Babylonians, which, in turn, has brought us a new star sign.. Ophiuchus.

Screen names must be changed!
Personality attributes must be readjusted!
And I'm no longer a Gemini!

.. wait, what? I'm no longer a Gemini? Well, I guess I'll have to create a new spam e-mail address and a Yahoo screen name. I'm a Taurus now, see.. so I have to recreate my entire personality. My ex was a Taurus and he was a douche.. this is most displeasing.

Honestly, if you really do believe in all of this zodiac shit, I'm sure you're pulling out your hair and biting at your nails nervously. If you're like me, however, you'll ignore all this hoo-haa. I still consider myself a Gemini. GEMINI PRIDE, YO.

Yeah, yeah.. the moon's gravitational pull on Earth, the stars, blah blah blah.. when it comes down to it, I think it's just something that a bunch of people want recognition for. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU CHANGED THE ZODIAC. .. and pissed a bunch of daily horoscope readers off. Seriously. Those people must be LIVID.

In closing, I don't really believe this stuff. But honestly, I do fit most of the Gemini attributes. Oh well, guess I need to rearrange my entire personality now. Oh, and the new star sign looks just .. disturbing. He looks like he's wiping his ass with a giant snake.

Here's the "new" zodiac chart:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

DLP

A few updates

First of all, thanks Kiel for all of your hard work keeping this blog all pretty. A few minor aesthetic changes to make the site "pop" .. we changed a few things around, updated the picture, Kiel made an awesome text graphic for the slogan. Woo.

Also, I added pages to the blog. So, now it kind of functions as a site. You can use the navigation bar up top to surf around. Find out about the show, me, view pics, check out links, and more in the future! After the show gets started I'll add information about my guests and I plan to include each show's playlist for you all, which also be on a page.

Music is such a passion of mine, and I can't wait to talk about it, but there are so many other things to discuss too. Entertainment news, original segments, and I can't wait to get a list of guests to call in! Thank you all for keeping up with me so far. We're so close.. and there's much to do.

DLP

FIrst promo poster!

What do you think? This was created for the Facebook fan page! Thanks, J!



Go ahead and 'Like' my show on Facebook! Look, I've made it so easy for you.

Black Eyed Peas: The Beginning of The E.N.D.

Have no fear, townsfolk! The Black Eyed Peas were never nearing their E.N.D., but The Beginning, apparently. This is kinda old news, considering their new album (The Beginning) dropped November 30th, 2010 with The Time (Dirty Bit) as the record's beaming sequel.. right?

It's been mixed reviews for the Peas ever since. What I'm thankful for, though, is that Fergie isn't going to be replaced with Girls Aloud alum Cheryl Cole like will.i.am hinted at a while ago. NO FEMALE ALIVE could take a piss on stage like Fergie. Especially not Cheryl Cole, she's too dainty and formal.. she'd probably use toilet paper or something. Pffft!

I wish the Peas luck.. and the way things are going now, Fergie won't have time to release another solo album! And the people applaud.

On Edge Radio tonight.. Precious!

Precious Fitzgerald-Monroe, our favorite Jewish drag queen(?), will be a guest on Edge Radio with Viz & Miss Annie TONIGHT! Head on over to Q Nation FM to listen! The show starts at 8pm EST. Precious is excited to be back into the scene, and if you remember her from her last segment on Edge Radio.. well.. she'll stop at nothing! A vicious shemale (because she had the surgery now, you know) indeed. Can Miss Annie tame her.. can "Vib" escape her evil grasp?

DLP

Today's photo shoot, yay

OH MY GOSH. The photo shoot today was absolutely amazing. I had so much fun. The photographer, one of my friends, is so talented. He's a modest guy, though. We took a few great promo pictures for the show and made magic. I really liked the shots. I'll be going over all of them (I've already started picking my favorites) and then I'm going to see if Kiel can do his thang.

We did a vintage thing. That was the theme. Kind of like.. a twisted, decrepit old park.. just like my heart! Thanks so much, J. You are the bomb diggity and then some.

Goofing around on location



I can't wait to show you guys the rest, and when the finalists are chosen.. I will post them here and on Facebook. I hope you guys can help me decide which to use for the official show shot!

DLP

Parker's Picks: BT - The Emergency [Radio Edit]

BT (Brian Wayne Transeau) is absolutely amazing. His voice is so spellbinding. This is a song that I heard on BTL (Boystown Live). According to Wikipedia, BT has a unique production technique, "stutter edit" -- which he coined himself. This really is such a great song. I know that some people aren't so fond of male vocals in trance (and yes, I consider BT trance) but even if you are one of these people, give this a shot. You'll love it.

He is not a DJ, nor does he claim to be. BT attended the Berklee College of Music. And what the grits, this bitch is in the GUINNESS FUCKING BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS.. and what for? The largest number of vocal edits in a song. WHAT? Oh, which is 6,178 edits according to Wikipedia.

Now, I prefer this particular edit. For dancing, eh.. but for listening on your destructive Turtle Beach phones.. YES. Parker picked, Parker approved.

By the way, he is SEXY. Like.. lock me in a room with this man for a few days.

Enjoy,

DLP

SURPRISE! I hate Lindsay Lohan.

I'm sick of Lindsay Lohan, like just about EVERY mentally functional person in this world. The news of her CONSTANT downfalls makes me a sad gay. Lindsay was spotted with a cocaine mustache? Oh, Lindsay is strung out on carpet cleaner this week? Or.. maybe Lindsay had a bit too much of the crack rock, and passed out outside a club, exposing her mutated fire crotch? WHO CARES. .. well, obviously I do, considering I'm blogging about it.

Lindsay has been on this downward spiral filled with drugs, shitty movies, rehab, fights, more rehab and lesbian scissoring for quite some time. It seems like after every fuck up she says (and by she I mean her PR people), "I'm optimistic about the future!" or some variation of that.

Fine, fine.. smoke your crack rock, gurgle down all that carpet cleaner you can find, but guuuuuurl, I swear, if you use ONE more Gandhi quote.. UGH! Quoting Mahatma Gandhi won't ever make you seem intelligent.. people will just think you're a douche.

Calm yourself, Dmitri, calm yourself.

And I will end this blog post with the following: ALLEGEDLY.

But, in all honesty, I really hope she hasn't considered getting fucked up on carpet cleaner. Try some Pledge first and work your way up.

Allegedly,

DLP